(Sunday, 10/20/2019)
At times I find myself growing anxious about whether or not at the end of these thirteen months I will know enough to actually teach yoga. I think of my yoga summer at the Kingsley Center, where the majority of the Tuesday and Thursday classes I took were taught by Ms. Felicia’s current students, and they were all such good teachers. I think that bodes well for my future. At the same time, I’m concerned that I have to have so many hours of teaching yoga in order to be certified, and in no way do I feel able to teach right now. And then I get anxious because I didn’t take notes during the first weekend when Ms. Felicia went over the requirements, and I don’t remember how many hours of teaching yoga I need, and as far as I know that hasn’t been made available on the Google drive yet. But then I remember what Ms. Felicia said — do what you know to do without worrying about what you don’t know. For instance, I know that I need a certain number of hours of observation — I don’t remember how many — and I can start to get those in by going to observe classes at the Kingsley Center, and keeping track.
I’m realizing the duality we have to navigate since we live in this patriarchical society where we better take notes to be a good student and be on time the majority the time, for instance, at work, if we want to keep our jobs. So in contrast, my question becomes what’s a way of being that gives grace and yet still learns, grows, matures, advances, challenges? For me, right now, it starts by being present, breathing, not rushing, and doing what I know to do. So instead of wasting energy worrying about whether or not I will feel qualified to teach yoga, I can make sure that I’m practicing good posture per Sunday’s enlightening lesson, breathing deeply, meditating daily, and getting my observation hours in. Doing what I know to do.
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